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Mandarine b​/​w Tang​è​rin

by A Pregnant Light

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1.
Mandarine 04:58
A barely perceptible yet delicate move Slide my hand under the booth To break the boredom of a simple conversation I don’t care what anyone else has to say Beaming in the black Illuminate All the more Give me yours Get me out of this place with it’s hideous floors I can feel you blush and so I look away I see you fold your hands Though you’d never pray And if you did Would it be my name Like a thread of saffron in small glass jar I should capture the light from this radiant star Frame it up and hang it on my wall You’ve got me feeling flush But I won’t look away At least we have each other Because we hate this place An arrow through the vapor Glowing quiet in the street Got you wearing all green Kinda dying in the heat Catch my breath for moment Before I return again Going deeper pulling harder Falling faster I need water I need it all I need it now Don’t hold back Just let it out It’s a drug it’s a fix Let me guide you by the wrist Every darkness has a vision Every sickness has a light I could live in this forever A garden of all fruits ripe I can feel you blush and so I look away I see you fold your hands Though you’d never pray And if you did Would it be my name Like a thread of saffron in small glass jar I should capture the light from this radiant star Frame it up and hang it on my wall You’ve got me feeling flush But I won’t look away At least we have each other Because we hate this place
2.
Tangèrin 04:40
There was a flash that struck me where I stood I could barely believe the words as they slipped out of my mouth Planted my boots into the linoleum And braced my heels for the blow Like a young colt afraid at the gate All he needed was a little push To be told it was alright To be told this is your new home For as long as you’d like For me, it’s kind of a forever thing I don’t let things go as well as I used to That’s part of getting older And though I have managed for the most part to avoid the aches of the body I have seemingly done all within my power to give myself every ache of the mind I’m back in the throes again Snapping like chalk pressed in fear against the blackboard I had to pause for a second It was only to glance down at that counter To make sure she’s steady And sure enough, she’s not Alright It’s just trembling I found a subdued kind of way to make myself large in that shrinking space But a man like me can’t be made any smaller than the width of my shoulders It’s a curse I guess I cannot be concealed I cannot vanish in the crowd I cannot suffer this alone I have to have you with me If I could resist It is likely that still, I would not What a dense thicket in this kitchen How did I get myself into this Be careful who you wish for The shade crept in closer Under the whites of your eyes There was an immediacy to the words that followed next Shocks of electricity Licking the tips of my fingers and the tip of my tongue Whatever this Whatever is Whatever we say it is For any one who watches Let them see Let them be Let me breathe my name And your name too The face of God mayn’t let me through If you hear a shriek from room above do not panic it shall vanish just let me through A beaming fire in the palm of my hand I shall be released And remember who I am If I rest upon your chest Just let me sink into the place of rest Again, let it flash Bright white then let it die See the the pain in my brain Let it roll out slow Tilt your head and your lips Bring them close and your clothes Start to smell like rose And cigarette smoke Be somebody so i said Be mine said the ink of red In the body of the letter Doubt that I could say it any better But I’m pulling out my pen Just to try it once again If you wanna live forever you’ve gotta do is sing

about

I lied.

I am not sorry. When last we spoke I said I was going to take some time to finish the upcoming third LP for A PREGNANT LIGHT. While that is true, the most reckless thing an artist can do isn’t to be reckless in their art, it is to ignore the compulsion to create. I cannot speak on why others create, I can only speak to my own impulses. To disobey the muse, or worse, ignore her, would be the greatest sin an artist can commit.

It’s work. It’s stress. It’s a crucible with little to no reward, or at least a reward in the the way the world looks at these things. There is no fame, money or acclaim that I seek or will likely fall into my lap. These songs were floating in the starless sky. It was my job to reach out into that infinite black and pull them down. To continue to mix metaphors, the statue was in the stone. I just had to pull it out. So with chains around my neck and a chisel in my teeth, hammer in hand I pulled MANDARINE and TANGÈRIN from silence to song.

I will now continue work on the upcoming A PREGNANT LIGHT record, but I cannot enter the summer season without some kind of statement. These songs are special.

Today is your day. I love you.

credits

released May 9, 2023

Written, recorded, produced, and performed entirely by Damian Master. Spring 2023.

license

all rights reserved

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