I Licked It, Now It's Mine

by A Pregnant Light

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1.
Another day in the field of the thing that no one wants to grow. The harvest is plenty, but the mouths are few. The hands are willing but the tables are empty. It’s a bitter love and a sour fruit. It’s a taper candle and a taste of you. It’s a book of matches and books on the floor. It’s her dress hung over the radiator. It’s the gas station coffee, it’s the gas station lights. It’s the gas station royal court and this station of life. It’s a bitter love and a sour fruit-flavored gummy worm. It’s a pocket full of twenties and you don’t have to say a single word. My affections can be bought and you have overpaid: no balance due. Every time you whisper in my ear, the cash register of my heart doth ring. Cha-ching. If you’re money in the bank then I’m dirty money on the streets. If you’re money in the bank then I’m as crooked as wall street. It’s a bitter love and an ice cold beer, shared in the back of a parking lot somewhere. It’s security cameras and lights on the street flickering. As you lick the top off your ice cream and stare at me quietly, as I focus on the steps ahead. From the corner of my eye, I see you swept.
2.
Welcome back to the repeating miracle. Snap my fingers and start the show. Just to go where I don’t have to tell you because you already know what to do. But half the fun, maybe not exactly half, but a lot is knowing how, and why and who, but not knowing when my voice will direct you. Do as I say, don’t move an inch. Just hold your breath and focus on mine. Keep your hands at your side. You have no control this time is mine. Why must everything I love hurt you so much? Soft and fair. No one else can see you now. Slow down. Go a little faster now. I see you bring me everything. I see it all laid on the floor, spread on the bed and tucked beside the bible, inside the nightstand drawer. I see you more than you could dream in your wildest dreams. I choke the neck and see your tongue dart out between your perfect teeth. Bad girls bad girls: what you gonna do? What you gonna do when I come for you? Good girls good girls: what you gonna do? What you gonna do when I pray for you? Ever seen a man on fire? Ever seen a horse run free? Ever hope for something so hard for so long, that you’re willing to die on your knees? Well that’s me.
3.
This scene keeps finding me, though I try and hide it unrelentingly seeks and seems to be the one sly fox I cannot shake. Tucked in the woods in sheets of rain, with empty paws sunk deep into the mud. Teeth and tongue held tight behind its thin black lips it sings a rhyme and tells me to double my chances. I am no snake, though I have one around my neck, I do not tempt, except for when I do and that’s because I wanted to. Not for the line that makes the frame that so seduces me today. The greenest vines I found to tie you down and take a frenzied bite. I’m going back to start the truck, turn on the lights and warm it up. I’m going down to start the fire, I’m going down to go back up. I’m going back to start the truck, take a sip of water, a real big gulp. I’m going down to start a fire, to see you down and raise you up. I’m going back to see your face, I kissed your photo twice today. Once in the morning dark and once again before I start to fix my hair and shave my chin and wonder where the hell I’ve been, and see you peacefully sleeping there. Why do you cry when you look at me? I love your eye and all those tears. When you told them at the gates of glory, that I’m your man. The years are long and the time is tough to deal with every single day and every thought says your name.
4.
It’s a bitter love and a soft white flesh. Lost in orchards I see you stretch. Hanging from that tree. Supplicating and ever-sweet. Red is the color of love so true, purple is the color of true love’s bruise. Black as the hair on my head, with glimmers of red when the sky shines blue. So full of fantasies, beg, implore, beseech, you laid it all out for me. With a steady hand and two open eyes, the violence begins. Petition and pray but it’s going to go my way: gave up, gave in. It’s a pleasure to lord over, it’s a gift to be born a Master. It’s a chain wrapped around your throat and tied behind your back around your hands. For three words, you wait. Restraint. Two times today you’ve kissed my picture. One lock and key, break you down to nothing. Where you go is the place I give you. It’s a bitter love and a crisp white flesh. Broken skin and a bloody lip. How many thousand miles will the sun and wind strip naked the clouds. You know what I want to see, and it’s not above me until it’s right below me. It’s a bitter love and a heart-shaped apple, cut and quartered and made to measure.

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Some songs to start your summer.

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released June 18, 2021

Written and preformed by Damian Master.

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A Pregnant Light

TOO TOUGH TO DIE

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